The Strange Vacation of Doom!
by The Authoress of Heartbreak
Summary: When Sakura is sent out to Suna in order to heal the Kazekage in Suna, many horrible things occur! But when her friends from Konoha come to visit, will bad guys and trouble follow? Chapter 3 is up. SakuX? Vote for pairing!
1. The start of a strange vacation

First Naruto fic. Enjoy!

Pairing: GaaSaku & bits of others

Rating: T for language and content (PG-13)

POV: Sakura- first person

Disclaimer: ya know, Kishimoto-sama, it would make the world a better place...wink wink nudge nudge...

Theme Song: Whispers in the Dark by Skillet (awesome song)

Note: I wrote this instead of updating Princess Resurrection, so please don't hound me about it.

Temari, Shikamaru, Sai: 17 years old

Everyone else: 16 years old

XxXgAaSaKu4eVeRXxX

The ornaments twinkled like stars on the branches of the green tree. I sighed and relaxed in the comfy padding on the couch, sipping my steaming hot chocolate. The warm brown liquid raced down my cold throat, effectively soothing it. My emerald eyes hovered on the tree topper, a pretty gold star with elaborate designs on each ray. Tsunade-shishou's words still echoed in my head.

"_**Sakura, I need you to travel to Suna to care for the Kazekage until he gets better." Tsunade said, handing me a thick envelope.**_

"_**Hai, I'll head out now." I turned to leave but was stopped by a gentle hand.**_

"_**Please make sure he is all better by new years, okay?" My shishou asked softly. I nodded and hugged her.**_

And that's where I was now, sitting in a comfy chair outside the Kazekage's office. The secretary was busy typing on her computer. My elbow length pastel pink hair was pulled back with my hitai-ate. The familiar leaf insignia was etched into it. My fingers twittled and intertwined with each other. I ended up holding my own hand. A sigh escaped my lips. I refused to think about..._him_. Nope, no need to explain further. That stupid chicken ass hair man deserved to stay with that Michael Jackson gay wad. Anyway. Today was...the 24th? Right, Christmas Eve. My emerald orbs hovered over the large oak door with the Suna symbol on it. Suddenly, the secretary stopped typing and called my attention. I looked up from my steaming cup of chocolaty goodness.

"You can go in now." She said, waving towards the door. I nodded my thanks and got up. My hand pushed open the door, and my eyes met a very frightening sight. Two doctors stood on each side, strapping down the wrists and legs of the red-headed Kazekage. He was shaking violently, his limbs strained from the intense spasms. His eyes were closed, but I could tell he was in pain.

"Get out, now!" I screamed at the two inexperienced doctors. They jumped and ran out. I growled and flitted to Sabaku-sama's side. How stupid could they have gotten? They put him to _sleep_, how pathetic! I pulled out the IV and forced some of my chakra into his head. His breathing slowed and returned to normal after a couple doses. His wrists still twitched, and I released his legs. His breathing became heavy and his heartbeat increased. I cursed. My hands did a few hand signs and warmed up with the chakra. The green life energy was forced through his skin and into his heart. Come on...you can make it! His eyes shot open, revealing the black and yellow coloring. My throat constricted. He growled and pulled on his hands. Sharp claws protruded from his fingers as he tore one hand out of the metal bars. I backed away. I was going to die...I was going to...no. I could stop this. I had to. I pinned his shoulders to the wall, causing it to crack from the strength. He smirked, showing his sharp deadly teeth.

WHAM

CRACK

WHOOSH

He flipped me over and slammed me through the wall. My back made contact with the hard clay floor. I got up and ran after the demon-possessed boy. He skidded at the end of the hallway, his claws screeching the ground. We faced each other. He ran towards me first. I ran second. Our hands collided with a force so strong it blew away a couple walls. He had slipped up, and I took the chance to shoot healing chakra into him, paralyzing him. He collapsed to the ground and his eyes slowly turned back to the normal sea green. I crossed my arms and started to walk away. After all, my job was done.

"Hey, Sakura! Stop!" I heard a voice call my name, and turned around. I was met with the happy face of Temari, my good, four-pigtailed friend. My back also met the ground, for the second time that hour. We both got up and embraced each other.

"Te...mari...can't...BREATH!"I gasped. She made a little 'oh' sound and unwrapped her arms from around my torso. Kankuro walked up and high fived me.

"Good job, there, pinky! That would've turned out really bad if you weren't there!" He said. I rolled my eyes at the stupid nickname.

"Whatever. I'm leaving now. Have a happy new year. Oh and please fire those retarded doctors." I said, dismissing their troubled looks and walked towards the door.

"Uh, pinky? Your Hokage called and she said you're supposed to stay here longer." Kankuro said. My eyebrow rose.

"What am I supposed to do?" I questioned.

"Enjoy your holiday break. And make sure Gaara stays okay." Temari said, shifting her weight on her other leg. I smiled. Somehow, just being in these wacky siblings' presence made me happy.

"That sounds fine to me, where's the nearest hotel?" I asked. Kankuro laughed.

"You're staying with us!" He gave me the thumbs up. Oh. My. God. Did he just say what I thought he said? I...was staying...with the Sabakus?! Something in my mind clicked, and Temari and I squealed at the same time.

"Slumber party!" We started hopping up and down. I was sixteen, so what? Someone cleared their voice and we automatically stopped. Gaara was staring at us, looking very formal.

"Thank you for your services, Haruno-san. We shall return to the mansion at once." He said, his dreary voice echoing in the acoustic hallway. I nodded and Temari smirked. We laughed and sped down the hallway, daring each other that we were the ones who would get there first. We ran down the crowded street market and kept running until we got to a huge gate with the Suna symbol on every column.

I flipped over the stone gate and Temari rode her fan over them. **Hah, what a cheater.** Shut up, Inner. **Snap! Look out-**

SLAM

I groaned and held my nose. Shoot, that was going to leave a mark. UGH! Crimson liquid leaked through my fingers and I groaned. This was a new shirt! Temari laughed and walked up to me.

"You alright? The competition doesn't matter anyway. Dang, you're all bruised up, too." I healed my nose. I wasn't able to handle the bruises, though. My chakra was running low. Temari let me rest on her shoulder as we walked inside the large mansion. She flopped down on the couch and I sat lazily next to her.

After a few minutes of waiting for the two boys, she got up and walked into the kitchen. I sat on the left half of the couch, staring out of the window, at the heat waves emanating from the street. I heard a small explosion and a scream. I leapt over the side of the couch and practically flew into the large kitchen. Temari was standing I the middle, covered head to toe in ashes. A pan with a large burnt object on it lay next to her left foot. I looked at her for a moment. Then I started cracking up.

"Oh -ha ha ha- my god -ha ha ha- you're such a -ha ha ha- DIP WAD!" I was rolling on the ground, clutching my sides. I couldn't help it! It was just so hilarious! Temari huffed and blew her ash-colored bangs out of her eyes, causing some of the charred bits to fly into the air. I got up and dusted off myself, meanwhile eyeing around for a broom.

"What...the...hell happened to my kitchen?" A voice exclaimed loudly from the living room.

"Hurricane Temari." I said, snatching a broom from inside the kitchen closet. Kankuro snickered and walked up a flight of stairs, disappearing into a room. His bedroom, probably. I swept the ashes into a single pile and grabbed a dust pan. The stack of grey bits was heaved into the black garbage can faster than you could say 'clean-freak'. So, I had a slight obsession with cleanliness. Not my fault. But whatever.

At the moment, a flash of dark red signified that everybody's_ favorite _demon possessed Kazekage had entered the house and was walking down the hallway towards us. I gulped and turned my head away. I didn't need this. Not after practically trying to beat the living crap out of the guy. But no, karma was just being stubborn and fair. Oh _joy._ **You got that right. Now stop blushing.** Awwww snap. I hope he didn't see that. The look on his face told me he didn't, but then again, when had his face ever shown anything? Temari shook her head free of the ashes and looked around. Unbeknownst to her, I had cleaned the counters as well. She looked at me weird. I rose my shoulders and widened my eyes.

"What? I had nothing better to do!" I defended myself.

"It's not like it's bad or anything, but no part of this house has EVER been cleaned before. How much are your cleaning services?" Her sarcasm caused me to laugh. I shook my head and picked up the skillet covered in burnt remains of the 'dinner'.

"What the heck were you trying to cook?" I asked Temari.

"Ramen." I sweatdropped. Were all blondes alike? Naruto and Ino liked ramen. Hell, Naruto practically _worshipped_ Ichiraku's for crying out loud! **So, she was trying to cook ramen...on a pan? Without water?** Oh my god. Yeah, she was. This family is going to need real food. Or at least while I'm here.

--

Back in Konoha (3rd person POV)

--

Naruto slurped up his seventh bowl of miso ramen. Kakashi turned a page. Sai spaced out. All and all, they were bored out of their pathetic minds. Naruto stacked the bowl on top of his 'tower' and sighed. Even he was pretty quiet.

"With Ugly gone, it's kind of boring. When does she get back?" Sai asked.

"We don't know." Kakashi said. Naruto slammed his head on the counter, earning an angry call from the back of the ramen shop. He groaned and sat up.

"I MISS SAKURA-CHAN!!" He wailed dramatically. Sai sighed. Kakashi flipped a page. Naruto kept throwing a fit.

--

Suna (Sakura 1st person POV) Day 2

--

I sighed. I hope Naruto wasn't crying or anything. He's such a pansy sometimes. Just as I got up from the couch, Kankuro emerged from his room. Our eyes met, and I raised an eyebrow. **Fudge, I think he saw you flinch.** Yeah, I think he did too, Inner. **Hurry, come up with an excuse before he asks what you're doing.** Like my Inner predicted, he stared at me for a couple seconds before asking.

"What are you doing?" It was more of a demand than a question. Whatever. I shrugged.

"Shouldn't you be at your brother's office?" I asked.

"Shouldn't you be training our medics?" He countered.

"Are you answering my questions with questions?" I was getting annoyed.

"Do you think I am?" Ok...now I was just pissed. I growled and a vein pulsed on my _normal_ **-sure whatever-** sized forehead.

"Whatever. I'm leaving. See you later." I said and huffed while I pulled on my sandals. I would have ripped the door off it's hinges if not for the person standing in my way. I mentally gulped in unison with my Inner. It was Gaara-sama. **Kuso, he could have at least knocked!** It's his house, stupid. He doesn't have to. **...you realize he's staring at you, right?** Oh. Well than. Shit. I rubbed the back of my head nervously and weaved around him, bounding out of their sight. I could still hear Kankuro's laughter as I ran towards the hospital.

I entered with a breeze, startling the nurses at the desk.

"May we help you?" One asked, her voice high and pitchy. Obviously just there to see Gaara-sama. Stupid fangirls.

"I'm here to start training." I said. She widened her eyes cutely **-obviously practicing for Gaara-** and tilted her head to the side.

"I'm sorry but there's no one here to train you." She said. Ok...her voice was SO getting on my nerves. I slammed my hand down on the counter, causing the fangirl to yelp.

"Listen, you slut. _I'm _here to _train _your_ medics. Let me go._" I said, obviously annoyed. Her red **-most likely surgically improved-** lips quivered and she burst out in dramatically retarded tears. She pointed in a direction, and I nodded. Briskly making my way down the hall, I saw a sign that said 'EMPLOYEE LOUNGE' in big letters. I smiled and walked through the white swinging doors. There they were, the doctors and nurses, sitting and talking.

It was all of them, as Temari had given me all their folders last night. I spotted the most experienced one, Hachiro Daisuke. Hmm, Daisuke 'great helper' Hachiro 'eighth son'. I could only hope he was what his name implied.

--

Kazekage's office (3rd person POV) same time

--

"Would you please consider our law, Kazekage-sama? It is of utter importance!" The elder insisted. The redhead put his face in his hands and let out a deep breath.

"I will elder-san. Please leave. I will contact you as soon as I have an answer." His voice floated around the room, and the elder nodded and left hastily. Gaara rested his chin on his hands and looked out one of the windows.

This was very important, and he didn't want to upset the elders' council. But...so urgently? He had no idea who to contact. Kankuro was hopelessly perverted. Temari was...occupied with their guest. Baki was nowhere to be found. Who did he have left?

**Kid you could always just ask that pink-haired vixen!**

_Shut up, you. And no, she's the last person I would EVER ask for help._

**...So?**

_So...what? I've made up my mind. You can't change it._

**Right, I can't change it. But if you don't go down to the hospital right now to talk to her I'm taking over.**

_Chatty much, today?_ Okay...he was trying to distract Shukaku.

**Just get your little punk ass down there.**

_Damn...didn't work_. He sighed and stood up. One glance from the clock told him two things. One, he had spent ten minutes arguing mentally. Two, it was one hour and fifty minutes until Sakura was supposed to be done training for the day.

--

With Sakura (first POV) now

--

These medics were pathetic. The best they could do was put ice on a bruise and heal an infinitesimal scratch. Absolutely hopeless.

"Everyone!" I yelled. They jumped and looked at me, "Do you guys REALLY want to be medics?"

"Yeah!" They pumped their fists in the air.

"Then let's make you medics!" I mimicked them, "First, control your chakra so it's centered on your palm. Make sure it's good chakra!" I held out my hand, showing a tennis ball sized orb of light green chakra. They did the same, but they were golf balls. At least we made progress! **Finally! Woot!** That's what I'm TALKING about! I smiled. Daisuke nodded and cut his arm so it bled profusely. I laid my hand on the slash, and in half a second it was healed. He did it again, except smaller, and I ordered the medics-in-training to line up.

"Now," I instructed, "Use the chakra ball to push into the wound's area. Try on the cut now."

The first person went and mostly healed it. There was only a little sliver left, and I finished it up. The process repeated (most of the time I didn't have to finish for them) until it got to a shy girl. Oh Kami, she reminded me of Hinata-chan. A sad look crossed my face. I missed my friends. Hell, even Sai. I heard a knock on the door.

"Keep practicing. Cut deeper, and pull more chakra. When you feel weak, stop." I said, and then walked towards the door. I opened it, only to come forehead-to-forehead with someone.

The worst parts?

One, I saw red hair.

Two, I saw confused, sea green eyes.

Three, our lips were touching.

XxX

-yawns- okay, that was pretty easy! I just edited it a little bit (you probably didn't notice) so it makes sense more and doesn't repeat as much. I just realized I said pathetic at least four times in the same scene. XD anyway!

Well, that's it! The first chapter to Strange Vacation of Doom! Please review with all comments.

Vote! SaiSaku GaaSaku KibaSaku...etc. which pairing do you want?

Note: If it turns out to be SasuSaku, I'll come up with something. The timeline is set at the beginning of Shippuden, a year after Naruto's return. None of the Akatsuki has died. Asuma and Itachi and Jiraiya are still alive.

With votes and notes,

The Authoress of Heartbreak,

Rain-hime


	2. Getting ready

OMG, those reviews made me feel special XD I think I wrote too formally the last chapter, un. Ugh, I'm such a dingbat sometimes! Anyway, I would like to thank all the reviewers and hell, even the people that read this, un!

Seriously, you guys really keep me going. Oh and yes, I AM in fact procrastinating from updating Princess Resurrection, un. I'll update it...sometime late January.

But whatever, I think I just need a break from it! You guys so totally rock, un. Oh and thankies to everyone that at least read it! It makes my feel energized even when I look at the number of people that at least opened the tab, un. Hell, even if you thought it was cool, opened it, read it, and then closed out of it without a second thought. THANK YOU, UN.

Sorry if it's...weird or anything, un. I tried to finish it as quickly as possible. School starts again tomorrow but there's a free day on Wednesday since it's Russian Orthadox Christmas, un.

I would've written more, but I mean, c'mon. I can't just get... what? Like, four (or five by the time I post this...) reviews and then reward you guys with a fabulously long and detailed chapter, un. Sigh. So in return for the few reviews (trust me I'm still thankful!) I'm giving you the same size as last time. Enjoy or die. I spent a long time on this, un. Tobi, can you take it from here?

Tobi: Tobi and Rain do not own Naruto. Tobi is a good boy and Rain is a good girl.

Thank you Tobi. Here, have a leftover sugar cookie, un.

ENJOY, UN!!

--

I pulled away and blushed. I bowed, and my hair covered my face.

"Gomen, Kazekage-sama!" I said. My god, I was practically in tears. This was so embarrassing. When I looked up, he still had a confused/dazed look on his face. I looked at him. Was he...zoning out? I waved a hand in front of his face. No reaction.

"Um, Kazekage-sama? Are you okay?" I asked. Still no response. I turned to my medics-in-training. They hadn't noticed a thing. Inner let out her held breath.

**That would've sucked if they saw that.**

How do you know they aren't just acting?

**I interviewed their Inners. **

WHAAAAAT?!

**I'll tell you later. Oh and your boyfriend just snapped out of it. You might want to pay attention to him. **

She was right; he was now staring straight into my eyes, boring into them using his own. His look wasn't angry, not crazy, and not sad. I couldn't read his eyes.

**When could you?**

I could before. Kind of. Maybe. Not really. No. So what? He's SO NOT my boyfriend or anything!

**Suuuuuuure. Whatever you saaaaaaaaay.**

Urusai, ama. (see bottom)

Gaara continued staring at me with the weird look in his eyes for about five seconds. I would've melted into a puddle of jelly if not for the applause coming from behind me. I swiftly turned away from Gaara-sama to look at my medics-in-training.

"Yeah, good job, Daisuke!" I praised the head doctor. We were truly making progress! My head whipped to the side as I felt something touch my hand.

"Um, Haruno-san. I...um... I would be most pleased if you could accompany me for dinner this evening." He said. Oh my god. I think my heart just exploded.

**Say whaaaaaaat?**

...Huh?

"Uh..."

**Great, just great. You try to talk to the guy you kindamaybesorta like...and you sound like a total retard. Nice going, self.**

"I w-would l-love to, Sabaku-sama." I stuttered out. Kuso, at least I didn't worsen the situation. Gaara-sama smirked and released my hand. He walked back out silently, and I went into a slight daze.

**...huh? What just happened?**

I think...I just got asked out by the Kazekage...?!

"E-Everyone has d-done very w-well today. Please g-go home and replenish your e-energy for tomorrow." I said to the group. They smiled and nodded. Most said 'hai' or 'un'. I nodded to each half-medic as they left the room. Finally, as the last person left and the door closed, I slid down the back of it. I was breathing heavily and trying to control my mind.

**I**

...

Just

**...**

**Got **

**...**

Asked

**...**

**Out **

**...**

By

**...**

**The**

_**KAZEKAGE!! **_

We freaked out in unison. This had to be a dream! I pinched myself. Nope, I felt it. I took a couple deep breaths before getting up and walking out of the room, trying to contain my excitement and nervousness. I could just _feel_ it rolling off of me in waves.

--

Konoha (3rd person) same time

--

Kakashi sighed. He and his team had been waiting outside of the Hokage's office for some time now, waiting for permission to enter.

SKRITCH SKRITCH

Sai drew a couple more clouds in the sky. He was drawing a scene with all of the team. Naruto was swinging childishly on a branch. Sasuke was leaning up against said tree with his eyes closed and arms crossed. Kakashi was reading cross-legged on the grass. Sai himself was sitting on the grass as well, sketching something. And Sakura...well...she was smiling and lying up against the trunk.

SHUP SHUP- SKRITCH SKRITCH SKRITCH

He erased a cloud and drew a bird instead. Its wings were expanded into flight mode. Sai stared at the blank-looking bird. It was uglier than the Hag!

SHUP SHUP SHUP SHUP

He erased it again.

"COME IN!!" A voice boomed, jolting awake Naruto and causing Sai to mess up. Kakashi closed his book and put it back into his vest. Sai scowled and stored away his sketchbook and pencil. They got up and trudged into the large office. Tsunade was sitting in her big, fancy, swivel chair looking at them, smiling. Her eyes were glazed over. Yup, she was drunk. Oh _joy._

--

Suna (Sakura POV) one hour before date

--

I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAAAAAAARR!!!!!!

I tore the clothes off of the hanger and looked at them.

Too revealing.

Too slutty.

Too bright.

Too dark.

Too...ew.

Too pink.

I continued tossing clothes and shoes over my shoulder, only to land in a pile on top of Temari. The pile twitched. I ignored it. Anyways.

Too sparkly.

Too fluffy.

Too..._perfect._ My Inner cackled as I looked at the wonderful dress that lay in my hands.

--

Suna (Gaara POV) same time

--

**I can't believe it. I was certain she would've rejected your sorry ass.**

...It's your fault.

"Listen, Gaara. You can't wear that piece of kuso to your wonderful date. You have to look..._sexy_." Kankuro said and made a pose while lying on my bed.

"Nothing's wrong with my robes. And I will not allow incest in my house, _thank you._" I chewed out, "I do not intend to _seduce_ Haruno-san."

I looked down at my robes. There were only a few scratches and rips here and there. At least it wasn't covered in blood. Shukaku smirked and purred.

'**Course, you could just DO her and cover this with-**

Don't you _dare_ finish that sentence, you ero-baka.

"Oi, Gaara-teme! You listenin' to me?!" My annoying older brother was waving his hand in front of my face. I growled and snapped my hand up to snatch his.

"Don't...touch me." I said coldly. I glared my hardest at him, causing a shiver and some twitching. Unfortunately, he recovered quickly.

"I know!" He snapped his fingers, "You should wear one of my suits!"

My eye twitched. No way in hell I was going to wear a cat suit.

**Say that to the mean looking puppets coming towards you.**

Oh kuso! I forgot my gourd downstairs!

"No...no...get those things _away from meeeee!!_" I yelled as I was tackled mercilessly by the puppets.

--

one hour later...bwa ha ha ha...

--

I fidgeted on the bed as Kankuro gave me a lookover.

"Yeah...I guess you look alright." He said, "Our only hope is that Pinky thinks your sexy." He clutched his hands and sighed dreamily.

I gulped and looked up. He had a spacy look on his face.

"Heh!" My brother snickered, "My brother's gonna get laid!" I punched him.

--

With Sakura (first POV)

--

"Oh my god, that dress is really hot!" Temari said. She had long since dug her way out of the Mount Everest pile of dresses, and was helping me with my hair and such.

I gave a scared look at Temari. She was clutching eyeliner and a package of hair clips quite dangerously, mind you. Was she _insane?!_

"You want me to wear...makeup?!" I screeched. She looked at me innocently.

"Yes, is that a problem?" I growled mentally.

"I am not wearing makeup, Temari."

"Yes you are." She argued.

"No I'm not." I crossed my arms.

"Yes." She got up in my face.

"No." I said coldly.

"No?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Yes." I confirmed.

"YES!" She pumped her fists in the air. Oh kuso. I just got tricked into wearing makeup!! NOOOOOO!!

**We...are so damn screwed, dattebayo.**

Hell yeah.

--

Konoha (3rd POV) one hour later

--

"What do you MEAN she's in Suna with Gaara?!" Naruto shouted. Tsunade took a deep breath.

"Sakura is in Suna to help out and heal the Kazekage. I bet she's enjoying herself right now!" She said, trying to look on the bright side of things. ((Trust me Tsunade, it's hard to when you're strapped down and forcefully being makeup-a-fied.))

"I want to go see Sakura-chan!" Whined Naruto.

"I agree." Kakashi deadpanned.

"We should go see Ugly." Sai said without emotion. The Hokage drummed her fingertips against the wooden desk.

"Okay...I might as well send out her friends too, ne?" She asked. Naruto nodded vigorously.

"When are we heading out?" Kakashi asked. The Hokage tapped her chin.

"It would be most advantageous if you left right now, I guess." Tsunade said.

"WOO HOO! LET'S GO PACK THEN, GUYS!" Naruto yelled and ran out of the office excitedly. You could hear the curses and sounds of things being broken.

BAM

He slammed into the front door, most likely.

"I'm alright, I'll be fine!" He yelled.

THONK

...That was the metal pole.

"I'm...ouch...okay, dattebayo!!"

THWACK

The side of Ichiraku's...

"I...can make it...datte...bayo..."

THUMP

He fainted.

This was going to be one hell of a surprise visit.

--

Gomen- sorry

Urusai- shut up

Ama- bitch

Kuso- shit

Ero- perverted

Baka- idiot, stupid, dumb, retard, etc.

Dattebayo- believe it

Hope you like it, un. Oh and yes, I did kidnap Tobi in order for him to do the disclaimers. I would've picked Hidan, but he would cuss too much. And if I chose Deidara, we would go on an art rant ("Art is a BANG, yeah!" "Totally, un!"). Yes, I am in fact bribing him with sugar cookies, un. -eats another one- Tobi, do you want another, un?

Tobi: Yes please, Rain-chan.

Ok, here you go, un. -hands over another cookie-

The last time I checked, raccoons could purr. They make this little purr-like sound by vibrating their throat and voice box. It's absolutely ADORABLE!!

YAY! Chapter two is COMPLETE, UN!! Next chapter is the date, un, and I _think_ some humor will somehow squeeze in there. Sorry for the perverseness from Shukaku, un. It was important to the story line. This will stay T, as I am too lazy to make this a lemon, un. ^^ Review and I'll give you a reply, review (for one of your stories), and a digital sugar cookie. Next update will either be Wednesday or Sunday. -shrugs- it depends how lazy I get, un.

**Tune in next time for another exciting episode of...**

**THE STRANGE VACATION OF DOOOOOOOOM!!**

Shut the hell up, Inner.

**You can't tell me to shut up!**

I can and I will, un. -pulls out rocket launcher-

**You can't kill me either!**

Yes...yes I can, un.

**That would be killing yourself!!**

...And since I'm immortal and can't die, as soon as I come back to life you're dead, un!

**Oh. Well then. That sucks.**

Fuck yeah it does for you, un. NOW DIIIEEE!!


	3. The horrible date and KIDNAP!

Ahhh, chapter three. I'm not going to say much because I'm still at the hospital. Yes, the doctor said that most likely my dad will live, but there's a ¼ chance he won't make it.

Dedication: cool44 and 'kayla' you guys so totally rock.

Tobi: Rain-hime owns nothing but a couple Itachi shirts and an Akamaru plushie.

--

My fingernails clicked on the tablecloth. I had been waiting for about ten minutes. A sigh passed my lips once again, and Temari gave me an apologetic look. Wait, why was she here again? Oh yeah, her and Kankuro were going to leave together after meeting up with someone. I blinked in utter boredom. My eyelids stuck together from the intense layer of mascara and eyeliner. Urgh, mental note, ask if Ibiki wants lessons from Temari.

"We're here!" Kankuro's voice made me jump. When I looked up, Inner screeched and died of a nosebleed.

Gaara was standing there, in all his Kazekage wonderfulness. Oh my god, my heart just exploded again. Damn. He had his red hair all messy as usual, but was wearing a red dress shirt that was slightly unbuttoned. Over that he had an open suit jacket and matching pants. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, and he refused to look at me. But...why?

**Holy...SHIT...I'm melting from the hotness, Outer.**

Oh my god, yeah. Me too.

I could feel the sweat forming on my brow line. Kankuro led his brother over to the seat across from me, but still Gaara wouldn't look up. Ah, damn. He was even hotter close up. I could feel the blood getting ready in my nose. I cleared my throat.

"So...why did you ask me out tonight?"

--

Red and black eyes peered from the darkness. All was silent.

COUGH

The red and black eyes glared at the one baby blue eye. A pair of black eyes winced. Another pair off to the side, they were reddish-brownish in color, looked bored. A single black eye twinkled.

"Sempai, what are we looking for?" The single black eye asked.

"That pink haired lady sitting right there, yeah." The one baby blue eye answered.

"Oh...okay sempai. I'll be quiet now. Tobi is a good boy." One Black Eye silenced. Baby Blue nodded.

"You'd better. They might notice." Commented Black Eyes. Red-Brown nodded and continued looking as bored as ever.

"Just stay silent, you fools." Red-Black's husky voice was barely above a whisper, but still scared the bejeebers out of them. All except for Red-Brown. He was staring at Pink-Hair.

--

"So...Tsunade called and threatened you?" I asked. Gaara nodded. So _that_ was why he asked me out. No feelings whatsoever. I don't care. Nope, not me. Sakura Haruno does NOT care.

**You're in denial. How pathetic.**

I know.

I felt something boring into my shoulder, and I looked around. Nothing. It was probably some kid in the other booth staring at my pink hair.

"How the hell did she threaten _you_? You're practically _invincible_ against threats." I said to Gaara. He shrugged.

"She said she would make sure I wouldn't be allowed into Konoha." He said.

Okay...why the hell would he care?

"Why would you care?" I repeated my thoughts. I could tell he froze slightly.

"Because...I would like to visit Naruto and you." He said formally. I could hear him relax back into his seat, but not much. Damn...third time this week*.

"...You're going to visit us." I said, "When are you coming?" He raised a nonexistent eyebrow.

"Some time close to February." Oh...that's only two days away then.

"Um, Kazekage-sama, your food is ready sir." The butler said nervously. The silver trays were placed in front of him. I looked at it in confusion. I opened my mouth just about to ask, when-

"I always have the same thing so I guess you got it as well." He said. My mouth made a little O shape.

**Weird. I guess he comes here often.**

Yeah, totally.

**I wonder if he has taken any other girls here.**

Nah, probably not. Remember, he's an emotionless, heartless, formal person. He doesn't go on dates.

**...aren't you on one right now?**

Exactly so shut up.

I could tell I had a weird expression on my face from the look on Gaara's. I coughed and looked down at the food. It was raw shrimp with a red dip and seasoning. I noted it looked like dead people half covered in blood.

**The irony is killing me. Haha!**

Shut up and eat.

I gently picked up a couple shrimp and quickly popped them into my mouth. I looked up at Gaara. He was holding the plate up to his face and scarfing down the shrimp. I pressed both hands over my nose and mouth to keep from laughing my ass off.

**Oh my god he looks like a raccoon.**

You are so annoying. But yeah...that is pretty funny.

I took deep, _deep_, breaths to keep from cracking up. Seconds later, his plate was clean and everything was tidy and in order. It was just then that I noticed no one else (and him in fact) noticed I saw him. Nor had anyone else seen his...table manners. I removed my hands immediately and mustered up the most formal look I could.

"So...what do we do now, Kazekage-sama?" I asked, licking my lower lip. He hned and stared out the window. I took it that we were to wait for Temari and Kankuro. Oh god, things were going to get awkward, very fast, very soon.

--

Red-Brown blinked. He had no idea the Kazekage was so messy. In front of a lady, too! Red-Black looked at Baby Blue and Baby Blue winked.

SHUFF SHUFF SHUFF

Red-Brown, Red-Black, and Baby Blue stealthily shuffled out of the bush, leaving Black-Eyes and One Black Eye behind.

"When does Plan CHS commence, yeah?" Baby Blue asked. Red-Black grunted. Red-Brown blinked again. He was getting bored. Baby Blue huffed and took something out of his pocket. His hands worked over the lump of grey until it formed into something shaped like a pear.

"Now." Red-Black said. Baby Blue smiled evilly and threw the lump of grey 50 feet across the street.

PLOP

It landed right underneath the main window. Seconds passed. _One...two...three...FOUR!_

BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The lump exploded, and shrieks were heard coming from the ruins of the restaurant.

Baby blue laughed and pumped his fist in the air. People ran away screaming from the wreckage of the restaurant.

"Plan CHS...begins now." Red-Black said. Baby Blue and Red-Brown jumped across the street and walked towards the restaurant. Red-Black soon followed.

--

**HOLY SHIT!!! What was that?!**

Oh...my...GOD. I have no idea!! Where's Gaara?

**I think he used his sand to get away. Leaving you here. Bastard.**

I rested my head on my hands. I was in the bathroom, sitting on the sink counter.

BAM

I heard someone kick open the men's room door. I held my breath. The chakra signatures were strong. Very...very..._very_ strong. I silently crept up to the ventilation system. I laid down flat and listened as the female's door was kicked open. I peered down and was met with blue hair and a huge sword. My breathing hitched in my throat. I heard the giant being chuckle and look up. I saw pitch black eyes, and the sword slashed open the vent, causing me to tumble to the ground.

WHAM

My head slammed against the sink counter as I fell. My eyes fluttered and closed from the dizziness. The last thing I heard was another chuckle and clothes rustling as the figure picked me up. The last thing I saw? Black...with red clouds...

--

**Bastard. You are turning around RIGHT NOW, dammit.**

I am not. Haruno-san is perfectly capable of getting to a safe area without me. (oh Gaara, if only you knew what she was in at the moment...)

**That's it. I'm sick of your smartass answers. I'm taking over.**

A pain split through Gaara's head as his eyes switched from sea green to yellow and black. He took off towards the restaurant with a bang.

Worst...birthday...EVER.

--

I moaned as I opened my eyes. Colors were passing by quickly, and I felt as if I was being bent.

**Damn, girl. You are seriously SCREWED as of now.**

Where am I?

**In the woods.**

Thanks for the sarcasm. Now, be serious. Where am I?

**Being carried by a gorgeous Uchiha.**

...SASUKE???!!!

**No.**

Then who else could it...oh..._shit._

**Like I said. Screwed.**

Totally.

I felt my weight shift as we slowed down to a walking pace. Eventually, we stopped, and I was put down against a tree.

"Yo. Girl. Are you awake?" The tall, blue-haired man asked. I opened an eye and nodded. Oh hell I was so scared. The shark-man smiled and turned to his partner.

Oh my GOD, if I was scared seconds ago...I now have Itachiphobia.

"Haruno-san, Akatsuki is in need of your assistance." He said. Inner drooled, earning a mental slap.

--

Gaara looked around hastily as he searched for a blob of pink that was supposed to be there. He growled as he sifted through pile by pile, stack by stack. Nothing. He let out a deep breath in frustration. This was really getting to him. He had to take it easy. Haruno-san probably got away almost immediately when she realized what situation she was in.

**She's...not here. She must've gotten away.**

...probably. She is most likely at the house with Temari.

**What if she's not?**

...then we will assume the worst. That Sakura Haruno of Leaf has been killed and her body was hidden.

**...but that's probably not it. I'll bet she's playing poker with Temari.**

Fine. But I still have this feeling...she needs our help...

--

And that's it. Please review. 8 whole Word pages. GOD, my hands hurt like hell. OOC coming up.

Oooh, Akatsuki POWAH!! What will happen, un? Also...what happens when the Leaf ninja come to visit? And...is there only going to be one Uchiha? Are you smelling the triangle that is haunting my dreams?

...why the fuck am I asking you? I already know what's going to happen, un.

Next update in...two weeks. Remember that I'm still going to school, un.

Nice people review. Reviewers get replies and brownies. -hands one to Tobi- hurry before they run out, un!

*her heart exploded again. Not literally. As in it either stops or starts beating so fast she can't feel it.


End file.
